The Man, The Rat, The Legend: Mr. Kobin

Mr. Kobin posing with his rodent of unusual size.

As he prepares for school, he throws on tan khakis and a stylish button-down shirt. He reviews today’s lesson plan for his senior students, or as he calls them, his therapists (for all the voices in his head). Sir Sylvester Grrrksalot (not a r*t, but a rodent of unusual size) takes residence in his chest pocket. Walking to the door, he must choose between driving his 1994 Red Volvo Wagon or soaring to work on his rollerblades. Today, the Wagon wins.

But who is this? Who is the man at the center of the rumors echoing through CHS? Who is the man you spot walking down the hallways, commenting about the abyss staring back at you?

The answer? Mr. Kobin.

Mr. Kobin (also known as Rat Man) is Cresskill High School’s newest addition and possibly most notable change (even more notable than those patternless grey and yellow tiles). He is the substitute for English teacher Mrs. Harris (formerly known as Ms. Peters) while she is on maternity leave. To truly understand Mr. Kobin, we must look at his past and engage in some of his peculiar stories.

Sir Sylvester Grrrksalot, a rodent of unusual size, sitting beside Mr. Kobin.

Although his guidance counselor pushed for him to write for a comedic TV sitcom such as the Simpsons, Mr. Kobin did not know what he wanted to pursue until college. There he found that he enjoyed the classroom, and since he was an avid reader, teaching English just made sense.

One of Mr. Kobin’s abounding expeditions was trekking to the middle school guidance office to read Edgar Allen Poe stories. His current favorite is the “Fall of the House of Usher,” though he has been reading literature of this caliber since a young age. 11-year-old Mr. Kobin read Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, and even pulled out of the book an existential interpretation of how the men worshipping martyrs is a comparison to Jesus Christ.

Having the knowledge of these difficult books set Mr. Kobin up for success in his later career, but that is not all that prepared him. Though Mr. Kobin has been on the occupational side of education for 24 years, he has also had his share of learning from teachers himself. After attending Amherst High School, he shipped off to Bowdoin College (or “Bow Down to authority,” as Mr. Kobin likes to call it).

Before joining the CHS faculty, Mr. Kobin also taught at Northern Valley Demarest HS, a high school in Connecticut, and other various jobs such as summer programs and assistant teaching.

Now that he is at CHS, Mr. Kobin teaches 5 periods each day: 3 English IV classes and 2 AP Literature classes. Though the classes had a slow start, the daily class discussion leaves the students stunned. Each day, Mr. Kobin commutes over an hour from his humble abode in Connecticut, showing his dedication to the job and his students.

Mr. Kobin’s iguana, Aethelred, perched in the C16 window.

If you’ve entered Mr. Kobin’s classroom in C16, you might spot Aethelred perched somewhere in the room. Mr. Kobin likes to keep his younger audience engaged by placing this small plastic iguana in unexpected spots such as under desks, on top of whiteboards, and even in the window. But this iguana is nothing compared to the iconic Sir Sylvester Grrrksalot. Mr. Kobin can be seen walking the cafeteria period 5 with the ~~rat~~ rodent of unusual size peering out of his chest pocket.

Whether it be offering to cut students’ hair, discussing Greek Gods’ opinions, or even showing pictures of his younger self, Mr. Kobin certainly leaves a mark on his students’ lives. The next time you feel yourself falling asleep in class, take a stroll to C16, and you just might catch a glimpse of Mr. Kobin in his natural habitat. But be careful not to startle him, or you may hear him shriek like the ~~rat~~ rodent in his pocket.