From the big screens, to Broadway, and back to the big screens. The Mean Girls franchise has gone down an infamous path of reworks and recasting, trying to chase the same legendary hype it brought back in 2004. The new Mean Girls movie is even more banal than any sequel, it is an on-screen musical! There are returning actors from both the movie and musical, and features a huge comeback from the original Broadway Regina, Reneé Rapp.
A complete rewrite of a cult classic film is predictable in the midst of a writer’s strike. Perhaps the stigma against movie musicals is justified because of their tendency to absolutely destroy the original piece of work. The Mean Girls movie musical has a grand majority of the exact same dialogue as the movie, recreating the most iconic looks and scenes, with interruptions of not-so-grand musical numbers. In all senses the Mean Girls movie musical deserves criticism, like the exasperating e.l.f. Cosmetics product placement, however taking a more music related lens helps narrow down the culprit.
The real issue with the new adaptation is that it copied the Broadway musical in the most insufficient and miserable display. Every number missed the pizazz, grandeur, voices, and passion of Broadway. The Broadway adaptation is known for its over the top vocal performances, and incredible backing music, two things the movie lacked dramatically. Various songs are so anticlimactic that it genuinely angered people on TikTok. Naturally, the album is shortened. Tracks like “It Roars,” “Where Do You Belong,” “Fearless”, “Stop”, “Whose House Is This”, “More Is Better”, “Do This Thing”, and all the reprises were taken out. The rest of the songs that are reviewed in this article are messy rearrangements, subpar performances that make the Mean Girls re-adaptation the worst remake of 2023.
“A Cautionary Tale”
“A Cautionary Tale”, Right from the intro song Mean Girls does an amazing job of showing the absolute lack of effort that went into actually integrating broadway into a movie. Lots of the aspects, including the dramatic music interlude, are forgotten.
“What Ifs”
“What Ifs” is a disappointing introduction of Cady Heron. This tune gives a good sense of what the rest of the musical will look like. Angourie Rice, while undeniably talented, gives maybe 40% effort to sing this song. It is a lazy arrangement, which is not even found in the Broadway soundtrack. This song sounds like a pop song your choir teacher tries to convince you is popular, but you know it’s only been played at Target on Pandora radio. What I am trying to say is, this song is not screen worthy and should have stayed a draft.
“Meet The Plastics”
“Meet the Plastics” is dramatic, it has the perfect oomph needed to introduce the plastics. The original movie did a better job with just a camera montage. Rapp did a great job singing this song obviously. I would like to hear her honest opinions on the toned-down version of the broadway version.
“Stupid With Love”
Comparing “Stupid With Love” to the broadway version feels redundant, so I shall criticize it on its own. A tiktoker by the username “cedar_el” said that the song sounds like she is “stupid with stupid,” and I really couldn’t agree more. This song is so bland, lacking character and void of any emotion at all. Hearing this version makes me genuinely angry because I don’t see a reason for making such a whimsical song sound like a ballad. The movie version does not feel like a song to belt, it is not a song you would take to your next audition by any means. I wish Rice took more control over this song and demanded something better for herself.
“Apex Predator”
“Apex Predator” is not that bad, thanks to Auli’l Cravalho and Jaquel Spivey who honestly do an amazing job. I have no negative things to say, the song is altered to be more poppy but in this case I do not mind since the harmonies and high notes were kept.
“What’s Wrong With Me”
“What’s Wrong With Me” is in the same boat. I expected this song to be done well since it is more toned down and ballady. Babe Wood sang this in the movie and she understood the assignment. This song is very similar to its original version and does not disturb the flow of the movie as the others did.
“Sexy”
I am angry with “Sexy”. I’d like to preface this, Avantika did a great job singing and she is extremely talented, however the producers need to be fired. It has turned into a more of a dance-pop hit than its original comedic feel. Most importantly though, there was a change in the lyrics that originally were – “This is modern feminism talking, I expect to run the world in shoes I can not walk in” – which is a satirical criticism of bimbo feminism. “I expect” is not meant to knock women down, but it is meant to show the ridiculousness of reinforced stereotypes for women. They were then changed to “watch me as I run the world in shoes I can not walk in” – making the song completely lose its meaning, as Karen is literally complying with the stereotypes.
“Someone Gets Hurt”
I have no criticism for Someone Gets hurt, this song was meant to be sung by Reneé Rapp even if it is in a more poppy display.
“Revenge Party”
“Revenge Party” honestly sounds great at first, while it’s still Cravalho and Spivey. But that is not where the song ends, because of course Angourie Rice has to come in and ruin it. The notes are changed so she is able to hit them I assume, but there is still absolutely no emotion in the performance. Compared to the grand number on Broadway, this one might be the most anti-climactic. There is also a mistake that has been pointed out on social media where Cady hesitates on a line “And I watched a snake eat a cow” which she of course performs with a monotone voice and straight face. The lack of effort for “Revenge Party” is simply offensive, the producers should not only be fired but possibly jailed for this one.
“World Burn”
At least there is a great final number with Reneé coming to save the entire movie again with “World Burn”. There are no words of criticism for somebody with such raw talent that they are able to bring the pizzazz back into a movie with the most boring songs.
Overall, the Mean Girls movie was a huge flop for many reasons but specifically for its inability to make its soundtrack, the one difference from its original script, listenable. Society needs to recover and move on from this disaster, and perhaps Hollywood should learn that there really is not room for remakes anymore.
