I am sure you have heard the saying that what happens in high school stays in high school, or something along those lines, from the adults in your life. You have probably even heard that what you do in high school will not matter once you graduate and leave. As it turns out, they have been lying to you the entire time and you should go after them with pitchforks. Really, you should (away with those fools!). But, in all seriousness, they most likely did what they did in the attempt to protect your fragile heart from the harsh truth of the “real world.”

Let’s reflect to the good, old days of your high school career. Do you remember that one D-plus you got in your sophomore chemistry class? The one that ended up bringing your grade down to a B-minus and you cried for days over? Well, that grade is coming back to haunt you, as every job interviewer wants to know about any assessment on which you scored lower than an 80 percent. All other experiences of yours are no longer as important as your individual high school grades. Rough, right?

You might ask yourself how it is possible that the one grade could alter your entire future, but trust me, it does. Your eligibility for that fancy, new job is determined only by the grades you received in high school. Anything that you do in college – any internships, externships, clubs, or residencies – means absolutely nothing in the work world. A recent study shows that about ninety-three percent of interviewers base their interviews on these high school grades; the other seven percent refused to share any “potentially upsetting” information with the statistician. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you may have to reevaluate yours plans for the future.

So what can you do to try to make up for these grades? I would suggest fleeing to another country where your records cannot be traced, but nothing can be deleted that easily. Others that are more educated than me would say to repeat your high school years. Retake every test you received a grade lower than an eighty percent and then continue with college. Then, and only then, will you be able to succeed in life. I hope that, for your sake, you remember what the valence bond theory is for that chemistry test.

You thought that high school would end with graduation? Nice try.