From Stealable to Spirited: Ranking CHS’s New Chairs

After Ida struck Cresskill High School in 2021, the entire school had to be rebuilt. The walls had to be removed, floors cleaned, textbooks bought, and chairs replaced for the students and teachers to return. Though the chairs in CHS are finally free of doodles and gum, some changed for the worse. Chairs will primarily be ranked on how well they fulfill their duty of beckoning humans to sit. However, the rating can be affected by additional factors. 

Mrs. DeMarco’s Gray Stool

This gray stool can only be found in Mrs. DeMarco’s room, C14. The best part of the stool is the fluffy soft cushion. It is smaller than the students’ chairs and has thin black legs. It is very light and stylish so if the stool went missing and appeared in another classroom, it wouldn’t be surprising, but Mrs. DeMarco might be distraught. This stool is used by Mrs. DeMarco to spy on her students in person instead of appearing on their google docs. Luckily for the students, the chair is too small to be comfortable so Mrs. DeMarco is unable to stay and stare for a long time. However, it means the stool fails to serve its primary purpose. The stool receives bonus points because it fits cutely among Mrs. DeMarco’s other decorations.

Seojin’s Rating: 8/10


Yellow and Black Two-Legged Chairs with Round Backs

These chairs are the student chairs. In comparison to student chairs in other schools, it is larger and more comfortable. The backs are flexible but can extend beyond comfort level. The chairs are on the heavy side but can be dragged without making much sound. What’s most interesting is the chair’s two L shaped legs so it can be used as a decent footrest. Additionally, the colors fuel school spirit, something that was missing from CHS students for the past two years.

Seojin’s Rating: 7/10


Yellow Four-Legged Chairs with Square Backs

Based on observation, there only seems to be two of these chairs (the location is a secret). There are open parallel lines in the back but it doesn’t make a considerable difference from the other student chairs.

Seojin’s Rating: 8/10 



Black Four-Legged Chairs with Round Backs

For an unknown reason, some rooms have black chairs with round backs but with four legs, not two. The only differences are that there’s no longer a footrest and the chairs fail to demonstrate school spirit. On the other hand, the black chairs match with the black science tables in Mr. Boita’s room

Seojin’s Rating: 6/10


C-Wing Science Room Chairs

At a quick glance, these chairs are unique, because they’re a stool and chair combined. When looking deeper, they are deadly. They have comfortable footrests but the back of the chair fails to support a person’s back entirely. It wouldn’t be any surprise if someone leaned too far to one side of their back and fell off. The height of the chairs do match with the tables. However, the illusion that there is a back but not a stable one loses points. It is worth noting that there is a big sharp screw at the back of the chair which can be loosened to make the back shaky.

Seojin’s Ranking: -10/10


Teacher Chairs

These chairs have beautiful cushions. Not only are they large and soft, they have small gray specks for extra detail. The height of the chair can be freely adjusted to any desk. Furthermore, the backrest is fabulous. It has two layers; the one that comes into contact with the back has cooling air holes and acts as a cushion. Therefore, one’s back never reaches the second layer which is the hard structure. Although there aren’t any footrests, any of the chair legs can be used as one.

Despite all these bonus points, Mrs. DeMarco brings up an essential point: 

“How many teachers have real time to sit down and relax?”

Teachers teach lessons and monitor students standing up. In the rare moments when teachers sit down, they still have to be on the lookout for students who have questions or are not paying attention. No matter how inviting and comfortable the faculty chairs are, they fail to fulfill their responsibilities. 

Seojin’s Ranking: -14/10


A2 Stools 

The new stools are absolutely maddening. Its height is a terrible match with the tables. For those who are unaware, the tables in A2 are extremely tall. A  5’3” person could use them as a decent standing desk. A person has the same level of uncomfortable sitting on the stool and standing up. In fact, a handful of students can be found standing up during lessons; that’s how absolutely atrocious these chairs are. It has a footrest expected of tall stools and perhaps the colors are an improvement from old wooden stools but that does not make up for the constant inconvenience these chairs cause innocent students everyday.

Seojin’s Ranking: -999999/10